Can you get me a puppy?
and I looked around
because I didn’t think she was talking to me
because I didn’t know who she was
and I wasn’t sure what she meant.
Is that, like, a sexual term?
and she looked at me like I was the crazy one.
A puppy, man!
I want a puppy
and I thought you could be helpful in that regard.
I looked around
because I didn’t see how I
had been entered into this conversation.
While you’ve been looking at me slack-jawed,
a better man could have provided me with three puppies.
Are you a man at all?
If you get me a puppy,
she said silkily,
I might think upon you
Look, I said.
I will get you a puppy.
I’ll provide you with what you need
support you in all your endeavors
if that makes you look at me that way again.
If you’ll let me,
I will get you all the puppies in the world!
and get me my puppies
– and come back quick.
And I did.
Go, at least.
on my nominal puppy quest
and ran back home and locked the door
because that bitch was a dog.