An Open Letter to the Jimi Hendrix Experience

Dear Mitch Mitchell and the other guy:
I hope you are well
and not dead
as Wikipedia and Rolling Stone both suggest
and that, mortality notwithstanding,
your chops are up to speed.

I was recently re-listening to some of your work on Are You Experienced?
and wanted to throw my hat in the ring.
We oughtta put the band back together.
Now of course
I was not a member of the Jimi Hendrix Experience
back in the day
– I wasn’t born yet when you dissolved –
but I think
I’m the natural candidate
to bring the group back to its former glories.

I am not a guitar player or singer
per se
but I am
I may demurely suggest
quite a delightful front man.
I write poems that
while not quite as poetic as the lyrics of our friend Jimi
will still serve the band pretty well
this second time around.

I am willing to learn how to play some ukulele.
to fill out our sound
but really
I think the two of you
can keep the fans engaged
while I perform some steamy original poems
of just why that one time
that girl didn’t like me.

I am willing to profit share in this billion dollar idea
with you guys each getting five percent of the net
of all of our shows.
We can cover some of the old songs,
so long as there are spoken word breaks
for me to show my stuff.

Please respond quickly
as I have similar offers out
to the former members of Nirvana, The Jackson Five
and the Tommy Dorsey Orchestra
but keep in mind
you are my first choice
and I would be ecstatic
if you guys were up
for the Experience of a lifetime?

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