It’s easier with you gone.
It was just getting so exhausting
with every day
another trial
that just ended with me feeling guilty.
I couldn’t take it much longer
so maybe
it’s just as well
that you felt the same
and left.

I would never have admitted it to you
– I’d just have kept on struggling
making it harder for both of us
day after day
trial after trial
sentence after prolonged sentence.

You did the right thing
though I could never admit this directly
and I miss you
another thing I wouldn’t say out loud.
At least
I can write the words
and leave them out
hoping somehow
somewhere
you will know them.