I didn’t thank you
for the napkins you gave me
to sop the sweat from my wettened brow because
in my experience
they leave little pieces of paper
all over my scalp
even when it’s dried.

Your little napkins
cause more trouble
than they’re worth,
is what I’m telling you now
very much thanking you would have been.
I had no interest
in encouraging such absurd behavior
in the future.

Of course
had I just just made the gesture then
we wouldn’t be involved
in this ridiculous conversation now.
So thanks.
Thanks a lot.