Can you guys just cut the shit
and admit that you’ve split up already?
I respect your privacy and all
but the tension between you
is something thick,
dark and ridiculous.

The stink of death on your relationship
is pretty potent, too.
I don’t know what caused the carnage
but there’s something broken here.
I can sense it.
Something’s up.

I don’t need the details.
I just want the information
so I can better understand
the terrain on which we tread.
I must get a handle on the state of your love
so I know what to call you guys in the future
and I can decide
which of you to ask out first.