Fondle Hard

These socks don’t match
– each other or my pants.
I don’t know what I’m wearing
where I’m going
whom I’m doing.
It’s a strange day in a strange week
and I don’t know what’s coming next.
Is my hair OK?

I don’t know what to say anymore.
If you’re gone for good
I really don’t know what I’ll do.
I can’t see what’s next.
It’s a little inconceivable
you see
that you might not be near me
it makes me hesitate while drawing
breath.

It’s not like we owe each other anything
or I have any excuse
to know where you are
but when I don’t
I get all out of sorts.
I lose parts of myself
when I have no sense of you.

I wish you could fix this.
I wish you could keep me in the loop
but of course,
if you did
there would be no issue
to begin with.

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