Your logic is spurious, at best.
Just because I’ve said “you’re one in a million,”
doesn’t prove that I should love
– or even want – you.
Why? Oh, there
are a multitude of reasons.
Here’s a few:

Assuming that the “one in a million” claim was sincere
– fairly questionable,
knowing my track record
with the truth –
there has been nothing discussed
that gives evidence as to what
I believe you to be one in a million OF.

And even were it to be a positive thing,
that suggests that here,
in the Greater New York Area,
there are still likely twenty others
similarly qualified,
and any of them
could easily suit me better.
On the East Coast,
one hundred and thirteen humans
might match me more,
and in North America,
you’d have to compete
with five hundred and sixty five others.
– and I speak Spanish!

Oh, yea,
that’s a compelling argument
but please
if you will
allow me to rebut:
You’re an idiot
and you’re saying damned stupid shit right about now.

Have you actually met common sense?
Because she called
and she wants you to reconsider her.
She’s sorry that you guys haven’t been speaking
but she’s willing to come back
if you shut up for a minute
and stop being so retarded.

In addition,
odd-taking is inexact anyway.
I know your uncle
is an insurance adjustor
but math simply does not satisfy my soul.
I will love whom I wish
regardless of what phrases
I might or might not
have once, in a moment of revelry,
accidentally uttered.

Is that enough?
Have I satisfied your curiosity
as to why you may not be the one for me?
Do you need more convincing?
Because I have reasons, galore.
Hell, I’ve got a million of ’em.

About Jonathan Berger

I used to write quite a bit more.
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