I Want to Know What Love Is

I thought I knew what love was.
I thought I understood what it was
to share
to be with someone
to care
to love and be loved.
I thought I comprehended these basic things
but when I see
the relationship we built
and what I did to you
for so long
I am aghast.
I am ashamed.
I am repentant.

I thought I loved you
but I realize
what a shitty brand of the stuff
I provided.
The ways I berated you
the ways I behaved…
You deserved none of it.
I’m so sorry.

I gave you everything I had to give.
I didn’t realize
how awful that was.
I didn’t see
how the best intentions
could yield such atrocious results.

I should have been better
and you should have left me sooner
and I should be imprisoned
for how I acted
and I guess
in a sense
I am.

I should never have touched you that way.

I will bend before you
just as I insisted you do
so often.
I will become good enough
to be worthy of real love.
I will learn to be the man
who deserves to apologize before you.

About Jonathan Berger

I used to write quite a bit more.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s