Writerly Writers

To the editors of Writerly Writers dot tv:
the writing prompts you provided
for the last few weeks
have been sadly dissatisfying.
I don’t know what you were thinking
presuming I’ll be able to write a novel
based on your suggestion
to look at a tree, and pretend it’s singing to you,
or last Thursday’s,
when you said, “if any of my organs were to spontaneously implode, it would be… blank.”

What the what?
What am I supposed to get out of these,
Writerly Writers dot tv?
What quality compositions have you seen
from such harmful dreck?

I’m not blaming you
for your asinine suggestions
though I am fairly disappointed
that you haven’t risen to the occasion
and come up with more interesting prompts
to elicit more interesting ideas
from your most interesting contributors.

I’ll tell you what,
here are some suggestions
that can spice up your site
the next time you want to inspire the public:

“I was just about done getting fucked by a chicken
when the lights went out
and I was visited by a suspicious character…”

Not your cup of tea?
Not a problem. There are others
you should consider:
“Thursdays are the worst
for cleaning out the colostomy bags
If only because of blank…”

And there’s always this direction:
“The best reasons
the coming race war
will be fought on Venus
will become clear
after you hear this song… blank.”

All right. You guys consider these options,
Writerly Writers dot tv,
and I’ll get back to you
where you can write the residual checks
for my excellent contributions.

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