While You Were Away

I found your secret stash
where you hide the goodies from me
so that you can sneak off
in the middle of the night
or when I’m at the comic book store
or whenever I’m elsewhere
unable to see you.
I got my hands on the loot
you partake in
when you know I’m not around.
I’ve eaten the biscuits
and the hazelnut spread, too.

I don’t know why
you felt like you had to keep these treats
from my prying eyes.
But maybe the fact
that I sought them out
with you out of town
provides a sort of hint
as to why you wanted them
out of my reach.

Also
I found your box of mementos.
I could tell
by the jewels on the container
that it held the treasures of your past.
I left them alone.
When you want me to see them
you’ll let me know.

But I took the pack of cigs
you kept in the freezer.
If you’re not back by the weekend
I’m smoking them.
So if you value my health,
come back soon.

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