You swore you would get to the party by seven
so I figured it was safe
if I showed up by eight.
It is nine forty five
and you’re not here
and I don’t know any of these people
and I am alone
except for my complete contempt
for your ability to keep time.

If you ever show up
you’re gonna be late in another way
that’s for sure.

These people
these utter strangers,
in this very strange house,
they are trying to talk to me
which doesn’t seem strange to them
as they are hosting this party
and are just doing their part
but it is frigging freaking me out.

Fuck you for doing this to me.
If you don’t show up by eleven,
you’re buying me steak.
If you don’t show up by one,
I’m meeting new people.