I offered to give her a ride.
"Where to," I said, "East side?"
"Nope. Further out."
"What, Brooklyn?"
"Further."
"Queens?"
"Further."
"Uh…. not Staten Island?"
"Jesus, no. Further East."
"Oh, East-er, then." I thought about it.
I couldn’t think of what was further East than Queens.

I took her to Long Island.
It wasn’t that bad, guys.
Really, they walk and talk
and act like you and me.
I was surprised, too.

I don’t know how often
I’m prepared to do these kinds of mitzvahs
in the future, though.
But as a one-time thing,
not too bad.