Lessons I Learned From a Month in Brazil

The currency in Brazil is very Real.
Portuguese is from the same language base
as Spanish
but knowing a little Spanish from high school
isn’t very helpful in knowing Portuguese
especially when in high school
you barely passed Spanish.

The seasons in South America
are reversed from those
in real America
so even though it’s really summertime
they think it’s winter
but because it’s all happening
in a more temperate climate
they dress like it’s a comfortable autumn.

The women wherever I went
down there
would dress to impress,
and impressed I was, indeed.
Brazil is one good looking country
maybe because it’s full of mutts.
Immigrants mostly, they’ve intermingled blood
and created a super-race
if super-hot first generation half-breeds.

The prostitutes in Rio
are much quicker to exploit your credit card number
then the ones in São Paulo
and the credit card companies
are slower to rectify the error.
Still worth it.

They eat a lot of meat
and don’t seem to mind
if you point at things to order
because you can’t pronounce
even the simplest thing
– and spelling things
turns out not to work too well
if you’re unclear on the proper pronunciation
of the letters of the alphabet.

Smart sexy interns in the office
you’re training in
are no more impressed
when you’re an American visiting from New York
than when you’re actually in America
working in New York.

A month goes by quickly
when you’re having fun
and really really slowly
when you’re lonely.

They spell Brazil somewhat differently
in Brasil.

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