Yes, I stole your seat.
Yes, I knew better.
Yes, I’m old enough
and responsible enough
and mature enough
to have avoided this embarrassing faux pas.
This is not the man
my mother raised.
This is not the person
I hoped to be.

I am sorry for my action.
It was wrong.
It was not the worst thing I have done today
– not even this evening –
but it is the most recent
and if it is the one
upon which I must be judged,
officer, then, please,
take the seat back,
with my blessing,
and my apologies,
and… will fifty cents make up the difference?