Third period is the worst. It’s Science with Doctor Death-Smythe and he spent the entire class talking about alternate realities and Harmonic Convergence
– but did he ever – even once – pull out a dimensional portal to show us Earth 18
or Earth 95
or even Reverse Earth B?
Of course not!
Something about Justice Squad insurance having lapsed, he said. Still, this could have been interesting;
but it’s become one more exciting opportunity
here in Sucktown USA.

Another worthless day in Sucktown
Another day when no one cares
Can’t wait ’til I can escape Sucktown
Nothing to do – anywhere.

After home room is Gym, which is even worse than Science,
which, yes, I said was the worst but, just…
just stay with me here.
Rocky Carson is the instructor
and he denies it, but everybody knows he’s really Major Combat. He wears the same outfit, except for the pit helmet. It’s so lame. He insists on drilling us on super acrobatics, saying, “if I can do it, a mild mannered gym teacher, than anybody can!”
and then rolls out a quadruple flip with no start. He’s so damned smug.

Just another worthless day in Sucktown
This one-horse, one-store, no account place
Counting days ’til I’m outta Sucktown
and they’ll find me gone without a trace.

The bus is late again because of the Wombat Army invasion last week. Even though the Divisive Duo kicked their asses
back to Marsupial Island,
now there’re burrows all down Grand Street
and traffic’s just been ridiculous.
Jenny Smith smiles at me, but that’s just because she’s psychic and knew I was checking out her butt earlier. Maybe I’ll ask her out at some point. I dunno.
The comic store didn’t get any new shipments
so I just went straight home and put on the TV.
Some news report out of Concourse City, and how the Colts are gonna win the series. Someday, I’m gonna move there. That place is so cool!

Lost here in the middle of Sucktown
feel like forever I’ve been here
Can’t wait to escape my fate in Sucktown
so afraid I’m gonna die right here.

About Jonathan Berger

I used to write quite a bit more.
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