If you get caught red-handed with the drug-pile
and find a way to blame it all on someone else,
or if you accept blame but somehow work it
so that another victim takes the pelts.
Or, say you commit the greatest slander,
or possibly just welsh on all your debts.
Perhaps you get your friends to hit each other
by convincing them to take your stupid bets.
What if you steal repeatedly from children
in hopes of getting credit off in tax?
Maybe you claim you’ll sue anyone who
says they’re upset with you
– just to get them off your freaking backs.

If you think that you’ve done some good,
but believe that doing dishes is some work,
then you’re an entitled, unreasonable idiot
and you’re still a goddamned child, you jerk.