Author Archives: Jonathan Berger

The deal is done. The line’s been crossed and signed – just where the X lies. Hands have shook and oaths sworn and babies traded and it’s out there now. The future’s told. We know what’s to be. We tried … Continue reading →

That one timethat one girl asked me outthat one decadeback in that one centuryduring that one millennium over there?That was nice. I remember it sometimeswhen I think about how thingsare going these dayslike today.It helps a bitwith perspectiveand makes me … Continue reading →

Please forgive me for this my latest distance but I have realized that I have only eight more allotted embarrassments before you, in this millennium, lest I transform into a puddle of squish which will then be a ninth embarrassment … Continue reading →

I wrote something for you the other day but you didn’t hear it because you are never around when I compose because you are never around ever because you seem to always find some other place to be whenever I … Continue reading →

OK, if this is it – if this is the end – the be-all, end-all catastrophic, cataclysmic, cat-gut guitar strung-out last night on earth before the zombies hide their faces then start rending people in the streets. If this is … Continue reading →

Abby, as a representative for your people, please accept the appreciation of my people for all you have done. Thank you for the feminism and the gay rights. I’m sure that Oscar Wilde and Sappho thank you as well along … Continue reading →

It’ll smart for sure, I’ll bet, but I don’t have time for the pain. I’ve got a lot of things to get at today and I think it’s gonna rain. If I take a second to stop and chat or … Continue reading →

This is when the Sidewalk will end; where, if you walk the walk, you’ll break, not mend. This is the date that you’ll tell your friends is the day that the Sidewalk ends. These are the times that you thought … Continue reading →

You can call me Daddy the master of disaster and I shall call you Stanley if I wish. You may name me Madame the lady of the land luxuriously plump, as I like it or lump it, lording it over … Continue reading →

You were too dangerous. There was no way they were going to let you out of this place alive that was clear. You were far too much of a threat and they knew it and they had to keep you … Continue reading →