jonberger

There’s this new thing that’s sweeping the town that’s making all the traders more true to their word. It’s a fearsome device their opponents are bringing and it’s making all the deals more honest and sturdy. Some are calling this the self-vocifier, where if you say a thing, you gotta make it so.
Some think it’s magic, most think it’s tech. Others say it’s self-control, but I don’t know.

You bring it to a meeting and you make an agreement. You come to terms and you sign on the line.
You try to be tricky. You try to be a shark, but you make the deal and you cut it fine.
That’s when the device here comes into play. It makes you do what you say you would.
It makes you act like you cut your thumb. LIke you swore an oath, like if you were good. .

This won’t last long. It’ll break real soon. Some power-that-be will destroy it soon.
How could we all live in a world so just that all meetings ran with us so attuned?
But let’s bathe for now in this joyous time while we have this thing that lets us be
in agreement so we can finally know what it was like to finally agree.

The mercenary corps’ prices have gotten so affordable
that just about anyone can invest in the new War-In-A-Store products
available almost everywhere these days.
It’s getting so that these newfangled AI can produce a fully-functional army
in just a couple of moments
so that when you’re ready to fuck up your neighbor
for parking a couple of inches on your grass,
you can go to town!

Just program in the size of conflagration you want your boys to start and
KAPOW! The battle has begun.
If you don’t want to hear that loud music at night, send off a sniper and
SNKR! The offending enemy has been taken care of.

But the real beauty happens when your neighbor ALSO buys War-In-A-Store.
Then you can both set your products to AI compete – without even opening the box!
Just let them compute the battle until they establish the winner
and you and your neighbor discover who
gets their head removed.

It’s great times with War-In-A-Store, available everywhere that stuff is sold.
Ask for it by name.

My credit’s gone all out, but I think it’s gonna pay for itself pretty quickly.
The TransMorph Human Variant Mark III
is mine on a three month plan
so I can be all the people I need to be.

At work, I can be cleancut and calm,
buttoned up and better-than-though.
After hours, I can be svelte and sexy,
ambinational and double jointed,
ready to party and unrecognizable at dawn.
With my parents, I can be whatever figures they need
that their dementia calls upon.
And for you, if you so deign, I will take on whatever figure
you may so command.

Of course, I may find some banking figures to replicate,
but that’s a bridge to cross at another time
as the three-month rental nears its end.

For now, there’s just so much to enjoy
with this finest of modern technology.

The promo on this one’s sort of weird;it’s a limited kind of mind-transferral device
where you get to associate intellectually
with an individual of your choice.

It’s a temporary effect,
as I understand it,
but it’s supposed to be great for relationship-building
and positioning for negotiations.

I thought it would be good for me
since I never seem to be able to understand
what you’re talking about,
this could give me some way
to finally get you through my head.

I wanted to give him something small,
something relatively meaningless
a trifle
a toy.

He seemed not to have many friends
and I figured
whatever I gave,
the thought would be more important
than the actual gift
but I forgot that children
are selfish little monsters.

He saw that my trifling toy
was a turd
and was terribly untouched.
“Yeah,” he said, “Thanks.”
The bastard.

Next year
he gets coal.

Here’s a thought: screw racism.Let’s go all in on classism
and screw the elite
the way they’re afraid we will.

They’ve been waiting for our attack
for generations
working to keep us apart
keep us down
keep us separated
but if we stand together
and each tear one appengage
off a one percenter
we can get this done in seconds!

Granted, certain servants (the ones closest to ’em)
will have to take up specific responsibilities
but when has that not been the case?
We can do this, team:
Let them eat cake.
Let us eat them.

I have only seen Pink Floyd’s the Wall once.
I was very uncomfortable watching it
but was I uncomfortable because it’s a fucking weird show
or because I should have gone to the bathroom
before it started and didn’t want to miss anything
so the last forty five minutes I was a fidgety fucking mess
squirming and squirreling my way, wondering
just how Pink was gonna get through these hijinks
and if I was gonna make it to the end.

I don’t know how I made it to the end.

I guess I could watch it again
to answer my questions
but it was so uncomfortable
I don’t really want to.

I guess I don’t need no education, either.

She wore little, which was really hot just like the fire she was jumping out of.And when I saw all of the action on the TV set I was promptly thrown into love.
Of course I didn’t understand the actress in the credits was not the one stealing the scene.
It was the stuntwoman that impressed me the most, breaking hearts like she broke window screens.

It was the stuntwoman, wearing close to nothing, just amazing as a star in the sky.
And though she’s supposed to fade into the background I would’ve believed she could fly.

An acrobatic martial artist/stunt driver workin’ fire and then rifles and bombs.
She does it all, she does it well, she does it sexy and she does it with two shakes and aplomb.
This girl’s amazing; just look at her now: her smile, her legs, her hair, her poise and her rack.
If she could act, then all Hollywood would fear her, and nothing would be holding her back!

It was the stuntwoman; anything was possible. She was the best then, and she always will.
And if I met her I’d have been so happy, I think I could’ve been happy still.
That woman’s stunts made anything possible, she made the whole planet a thrill.

When I taught, I taught poorly.
I taught poorly because I lacked classroom management skills.
Mostly it was about how to control the class
ensure they did what I told them to
but another component was keeping kids interested
and that comes from being organized
being prepared.

I was not well prepared.
If I went back into the classroom, I would not be well-prepared now.
I’d be better, perhaps,
but organization remains not my forte.
Management is not my strength
much as I love telling others what to do.

If there is a lesson here
I cannot tell you
for when I teach, I teach poorly.

The Napoleon Complex is based on lies, sure
but that doesn’t stop it from being true, you know.
There’s something fundamental
about a person lacking something
trying to make up for it
in some obvious desperate ways:
the Maserati dick
the crazy expensive amateur guitar
the hairpiece
the platform shoe.

It’s primal and obvious,
these forms of compensation,
even if the first example we think of
is not from reality as we know it.
So what if Napoleon was actually of above average height?
Maybe he was compensating for something else
like astonishing good looks
or a hand that felt better between pieces of cloth.
Maybe he just liked killing. Whatever.

The important thing is
the Complex is true, even if its origin is false.
It doesn’t need proof to be right.
is all I’m saying.