jonberger

I brought too much stuff for this house that I’m staying at,
carried too many foods
for a one-week stay.
Now I’m eating my way
through a pound plus of turkey,
a gallon of milk
and twelve ounces beef jerky.
I don’t want to carry back
all of these provisions.
I thought I’d prepared
with a bit more precision
but there’s so many apples,
bananas and a pear
that I might have to leave
some in the fridge right there.

I have reconsidered the meaning of love.
In the case of these cats
currently eyeing me before bed,
I think it means
“willing to imagine
the possibility of not
jumping on my face in the night,
leaving me with a faceful of fur
and a brainful of shock,
wondering what I ever did
to deserve this.”

I hope their love is true.

Just because you have an extensive
degree of knowledge
about AntiFolk from late two thousand three
through mid two thousand eight
does not make any of that information
interesting – like, at all.

Even if you try to make that information rhyme.

Personal experience here, guys.

You would not believe how bigmy comic book collection is.
Well, maybe you would:
it’s in a bunch of crates
at this point,
so it doesn’t look as big
as when it was taking up book shelves.

I wonder what it’s worth
– but it’s not about dollar value.
It’s about the pleasure
these books have given me
over the years.

Mostly because I’m afraid
no one will give me
any money for them
ever again.

Wanna buy my collection?
It’s huge!

Answer this for me:
how is it
that every time
I find a bug in my home
and I take it outside
(so as not to kill it)
I find a bug in my home
when I return?

How does it get back before me?
They’re so fast!

And I don’t like the implication
that I’m prejudiced
because all insects look alike to me.
They just do!

Next you’re gonna get on my case
when I complain about the infestation
in our homes…

The largest single living thing on the earth
makes its home in Oregon
and is called Armillaria.

It kills most trees and has been there
at least since Caesar
(though they probably didn’t meet).

Its minimum weight
is seven thousand, five hundred tons
and it grows by swallowing flora
in its path.

It ain’t pretty
but it’s true.

I loved the introduction
of the self-serve registers
where you could get things done
all on your own
because I am so often uncomfortable being served.

Part of it
is the social interaction
but more of it
is the belief that I could do a better job myself.

This is why I often try
to get my own water at restaurants
or pay up front
where it makes sense.
Full service gives me the creeps.

I probably give the service industry the creeps, too.

It was a long night
that didn’t start off intense,
just meeting at an open mic
that led to pizza
then a bar
then another bar
then a 24-hour diner
that inexplicably kicked us out
then walking to the water
where we talked until dawn.

Long night.
Thorough night.
Deep night.
A night during which,
I’m certain,
I used to know your name.

Too late to ask again now.

When the moon hits your eye
like a big pizza pie
that’s a syzygy.
When the earth, moon
and sun

all go together on a little run
that’s a syzygy.

It is a celestial thing
with all the science it can bring:
that’s the syzygy.
Hope you don’t find it banal

because now I’ve told you all
about the syzygy!

"Sticks and stones may break my bones,but names will never hurt me"?

Yes but their tongues are sharp;
they lacerate.
They cut.
Their barbs are biting
and sting for long days
after the initial attack,
where blunt force would have already gone
from black to blue to lighter purple.

Sticks and stones can only be found in nature
but the names can be found
in every household
every street
and they are ever so creative
and have so many layers of damage to do.