Napoleon was Five Six,
average height for his time and place,
but things got muddled
because France had a different inch,
under which he was Five Two
so people got confused.
Plus, some cartoonist Gillray
liked to tease Napoleon
by drawing him
all itty bitty
so everybody ended up thinking
he was small.
The winners write the history.
The tall people make the rules.
You cannot call them chicks anymore.It’s supposed to be out of style
so I’ve made a point to avoid the word
for really quite a while.
I’ve selected some tastier choices;
like "honey," "babe," and "dame,"
while keeping away from some dumb
phrases that would put a sailor to shame.
Still, I will find some trouble
since a girl won’t be satisfied
’cause whatever I choose I know I shall lose with
my words that describe her backside.
Temporary housing leaves me by a Doughnut Plant
and within walking distance from Two Boots Pizza
and Katz’s Delicatessen.
If there’s other food to eat
I don’t think I know about it.
This would be an unhealthy area
for me to live
though at least
these places require
a bit of traipsing
to get from one
to the other.
Who was it who said
"Food, glorious food!"?
Some punk street trash
who couldn’t afford these treasures,
I’ll tell you that.
You know how much happier you’ll beif you expect less out of yourself
and others
yet you just won’t do it.
You keep yourself on the cross
though that’s not your particular
dieu du jour
and keep your eye on the others
to make sure
they live up to whatever standard
is so important at the moment.
As the only Elvis that ever mattered said,
"I hope you’re happy now."
And…?
Are you?
My father taught me how to make action figures
when I was still a boy.
They weren’t as cool
as Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots
but they were so much cheaper
and they could become
anything I wanted.
I kept up with them
for years and years
and years.
They’re gone now.
They were better for the environment
that Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots
so they live now
only in memory.
Thanks, Dad.
Interesting that it was Teddy Roosevelt
that came up with
“Speak softly
and carry a big stick”
as he was one
LOUD motherfucker.
Of course Teddy didn’t really
come up with it
so much as appropriate it
from West Africa. But
if you talk loud enough
who can tell the difference?
I was about to saythat "no one likes a bigot,"
except that everyone likes a bigot
when it’s one of theirs,
and everybody’s got a bigot
that’s one of theirs.
Every single body.
Though I wish to see you againit’s poison each time we are two
at least, it’s that way for me.
I can’t speak from your point of view.
So I’ll keep my distance, despite
a desperate longing to see
a last chance view of she who had been
my past peanut butter baby.
When one has a well-trained
sense of time
and always is aware
of the beat of the day,
it is usually quite easy
to know
when to make
an appropriate getaway.
Excellent exits
are part
of the skillset.
You can conceive
of a perfect parting.
Apparently,
I lack
such savvy.
Shit.
Your presents are no longer appreciated.They only show
the increasing gaps
between us now
that stretch every time
you so generously
gift me something
so meaningless to you
that might take me forever
to earn.
I will thank you
to shower me
no more
with your appreciation
of a yesterday
when it might be easier
if we simply celebrate today
although
I am still willing
to eat your lox.
jonberger 