jonberger

Joanie?
Yeah, she’s cool.
Single too.
Leave her alone.
You’re not allowed to date her
to look at her
to think about her
after dark.

I couldn’t recommend you to her.
I’m sorry.
You’re just not good enough.
She’s too sweet
and smart
and wouldn’t enjoy
all your rampant insensitivities.

Joanie deserves better.
Joanie is too fine.
Joanie could make this decision for herself
sure
but I’m looking out for her.

Any way I could change my mind?
Sure.
You got the money you borrowed during Bush?
What about the ladies
you poached from me back then?

No?
Cool.
Leave Joanie be.

I’d love to
but unfortunately
I can’t take you to my parents’ pad
even though it’d be wicked
to show you off
to all my old peeps.

It’s just that
if I take you home
let you see all my history
and experience my past,
then I’d see you in all the places I grew up
and when you leave me
I’ll remember you in those places
and my memories of them
will become toxic
since every time I stare at my mother’s wok
or my high school lunchroom
I’ll be cursing your name.

What if we don’t break up?
It is to laugh.
Ha ha.
Everything dies, babe,
that’s a fact.
We’ll be done someday
it’s just a matter of when.

Until then
I’m afraid I can’t take you home
but a neutral hotel could be nice,
right?

Say it.
Say everything.
Say anything you want to say
and then some more.
Just open the faucet
and let it all pour out.

Keep talking
keep expressing
keeping going on and on
and on and on
and on and
in time
you’ll have said it all
and you’ll take a breath
and you’ll drink a glass
and have nothing to say.

And in that silence
in that moment of recollection,
refreshment and refurbishment,
in that abyss,
you just may find something new
and when you find that thing
listen.

Watching you glide about
in that dress
made me think over and over again
about how much I wanted to fuck you,
just put you over the cake table
and give you a present I’d never forget.

It was hard to see you
kiss that guy
over and over again
at the clink of a glass
like some performing dolphin
turning, twisting
doing tricks for seafood.
It was hard
but it was good.

You looked so beautiful
so sexy
all day long
as you thanked people for coming
and hugged so many attendants
and wiped all that icing
off the side of your mouth.
It was a wonder to watch.

And I’m glad you were so radiant
and I’m sad you’re now so disturbed
and I’m sorry
but I thought I was complimenting you
and being honest
and I thought those were the traits
you appreciated
and if not
then why was it me you asked
to walk you down the aisle
in the first place?

This has not been the month for me.
Words have been said
actions initiated
and the walls are well-written upon.
The center is holding
but only as shrapnel
for a little while longer
before an inevitable explosion.
I can taste the hate.
Everyone is my enemy now.

Everywhere I see apocalyptic signs.
Every day I learn more about the hordes.
What once were friendly faces
now contain curled lips
and snarled sentences.
Allies are infinitesimal
and even associates are hard to find.

Even you
my oldest,
my closest.
Even you are showing
suspicious signs
I’d never seen before.
I don’t know what’s going on
but somewhere
you stopped being one of us
and now
I need to figure out
how to take you down.

For our old friendship
and everything we held dear,
you’ll tell me,
won’t you?
You’ll give me the secret
as to how to destroy you?
Please?

The band before you
could be your favorite
if you listen.
The show down the street
could change your life
if you hear.

Try to take in the new experience.
Try to take on something new.
Try to absorb the beautiful life
all around you.
Learn from your surroundings
or change your surroundings.
Consume something new.

Your life
the life around you right now
could be so amazing
if you’re open to it.

If someone upsets you
report them.
If an eye offends
tear it out.
Rend it from
the face of the one who has bothered you.
You don’t need to have to deal
with a sub-optimal night.
If there are any
that make you uncomfortable
remove ’em.

It may sound cruel
or rough
but your needs are paramount.
If a fella sends you an untoward look
get them out of your sight.
Hell
consider that eye maneuver
from one stanza up.
It’s not hard.
It’s not going overboard.
It’s necessary
for you
to be able to put your feet up
in peace.

Just get rid of the threats
until the world
is entirely comfortable
for you
forevermore.

In the midst of an impossible challenge
sometimes
you need to find a way
to replenish yourself
to regain resources
to be refueled.

Sometimes
in that process
of coming back to yourself
you may need a certain kind of help
in the form of inspiration
or support
or just some consideration.

Any of these
would be appreciated.
I come to you
a supplicant
begging you
to somehow help me refuel
for the challenge ahead.
If you can,
please,
fill ‘er up.

I never voted for Prince
but he always had
my complete support.
Yet there is something
now
upon which I feel
I must stamp my veto.

O acoustic musician:
I know you mean well
with your hastily planned cover
of that artfully constructed song.
O earnest folksinger:
You are trying so hard
but we all need not pay the price.
O open mic songster:
stop the aural violence.
Stop the Prince cover songs.

At the least
work harder.
The songs deserve better.
The audience deserves better.
Your throat deserves better
than your ill-fated falsetto.

Please
give up.
Good will
will only take you so far
before we revolt
and commit some sort of regicide.

I was a little proud of myself
when I left you in the bar
so I could get some air.
It was a dick move
but I’d felt really dicked upon
the way you’d been treating me all night
and I just needed to center myself.

It turned out
centering myself required getting rounder
as I ended up at the diner
getting a shake and fries
and talking to Flynn
whom I ran into
by sheer coincidence.

We talked,
and I thought,
and I found some peace
before heading back to the bar where
apparently
you hadn’t realized I’d been gone
for an hour
proving just how much
you thought of my company
and just how right
I’d been to have ditched you.