jonberger

I wonder what would’ve happened
if you kept it.
If you had decided
that was the right choice
if you thought we could’ve made it.

I wonder what kind of a life we’d have had
if we’d had a life at all
together.
I wonder what it would’ve been like
how we would’ve treated each other
– our family.
I wonder a lot of things about you
a lot of the time.

But time has passed us by
and I’m sure we’ve both kept
lots of things
since then
and lost a lot of others.
I’m sure this isn’t the only choice
you wonder about
and
I wonder what that means.

If you let me
I would have taken you
around the world
with very little recompense
required.

But really
I needed something more
than what you seemed
to be willing
to provide.

If you had offered me more
if I had admitted what I wanted
if we had the chance
we could have become something
inspired.

I don’t revisit the memory often
but I put my lips on him
on his last day.

He didn’t respond
to my advances
and remained resistant
to everything I offered.

I failed to breathe life into him
but then again
so did the paramedics.

She saw his car’s window left open
and read it as a sign.
This was the unconscious speaking,
she thought.
Opportunity comes through an open window.
It wasn’t so.
He forgot to close his window
when he abandoned the vehicle.
That’s it.
Her interpretation
what she imagined
was something else again.

A cigar’s a cigar
a spade’s a spade
and something that talks
and walks like ducks do
is a fucking duck
but an open window has no significance
other than early onset dementia.

She didn’t see it like that
but, look:
they say something about covers
and contents of texts,
don’t they?

We have been debating this for what feels like days now.
If I apologize
can we end this?
No, I’m not sorry.
There’s nothing to be sorry for.
I just want to get this over with.
Can we do that?

Your arguments have been facile
and fruitless in convincing me
if anything!
You’re not right.
Your candidate sucks.
Your thesis is flawed.
But I’ll let it go
if we can let this go.
Please?

Oh, please!
Like Imperialism had anything to do
with Everybody Hates Chris.
Just…
Just stop.
You’re throwing all possible things against the wall
hoping any of it is half cooked.
You’ve got a spaghetti wall over there
but nothing sticks.

You’re wrong.
You’re points are foolish.
Can we please talk about something else?
Yes.
Yes, you’re right.
Of course.
How could I not have SEEN that?

I am anxious.
I am wary.
I wondering about the boot
and when it’s gonna drop.
I am worried it’s coming soon
and I’m. It sure I’m prepared.

I am scared.
I am combative.
I know there’s ugliness in its way
and I’m waiting
watching, welling with tension
working my way into
into some state that might be worse
than what’s to come.

But I need to be at fighting trim
because a careful war is winding up
and, as said,
I’m worried.
If I wail every now and then
it’s because I know
it’s coming
soon.

It has been too long
for me
since I’ve seen you.
I get the sense
though
the feeling’s not mutual.

The sourness on your face
suggests
you’ve got better things to do
than breathe the same air
as me.

I’m not sure what I did to offend you
what particular thing has stuck with you
I should say.
There were loads of ways
we were cruel to each other
and I don’t know which ones
are with you still.

God
I’m so happy that you are
the way you are today:
Bitter. Curt.
Sharp.
It’s a relief to see
you’re unhappy to see me.
I’m just glad
I still have that kind of power.

We are the pair
since I guess
in its way
the feeling’s mutual.
If you held no sway
I wouldn’t be quite so happy now, eh?

You can see
in the way they touch
that it won’t last long.
You can see
with a certain squint
the expiration date
on their relationship.

They have a sort of happiness
but it isn’t enough.
It won’t be
– not soon.
His clinginess
will not be appreciated.
Her tolerance
cannot last.

They will end
these two,
that is clear.
She’ll tire of him
and he will burn at the rejection
and they will move on
to other things.

Any day now.
Any minute…

When I was you
I was desperate.
When I was you
I was rude.
I was embarrassed and simple and frightened
back at the point when I was you
for I was younger
and less experienced
and hungry.

I knew what I wanted
and knew it wasn’t good for me
but wanted it still
with a passion like a wave
wiping out everything before it.

I was ravenous
when I was you
and I did things
that I still regret
but I learned
and grew
and decided that being
how you are now
was not the way to be
and did what I could
to revise my behaviors
so it would never happen again

to me.
I changed things up
so I wouldn’t become like you.
But apparently
these things are cyclic
and somebody else had to me back then
and clearly
this time
that’s you.

If you need me
you can call
but you seem to be needing me
for the wrong reasons.

You should be asking for my comfort and kisses
not my shaving apparatuses.
You should want to tell me about your day
not asking how many signatures
I got for your latest cause.
You shouldn’t be using me
to get signatures for your latest cause, anyway
– I’ve been forging most of them.

I really want to be there for you
to offer support for what you’re going through
but I dream of us as an army of two
and I don’t think you share that view.

I don’t think you see us as partners.
I kinda think you’ve got me down
as your assistant.
That’s not what I signed up for
so I’m wondering if
we should break contract.

Call me
if you’d like
or if you need
but please
need me correctly.