Santa’s ass is getting fat
I think it’s all the cookies that
we serve him every Christmas night.
His chance of slimming down? Quite slight.
Santa’s jowls are drooping down
a creepy geriatric clown
if weight watchers he skips, I fear
he might not last another year.

Santa’s girth is growing
Santa’s adding mass
His pants are getting tight
and his toes are out of sight.
Reindeer having trouble
carrying all that weight.
If Santa gets much bigger,
well, then he’ll become a state.