Where the Sluts Are ’16

I just read a fuckton of poems about sluts
because the Internet.
So many
are defensive about being sluts
are accusatory
are self-righteous.
None were directional.
I don’t know where the sluts are
and the poems I read didn’t help me
to know how to even identify them.

Where are you, sluts?
How can I find your very sweet butts?
When will I find your whyfores and whats
and can you ensure you aren’t just mutts?
(Not that there’s anything wrong with ladies of the canine variety.
Many a man’s heart can be captured
by the wiles of a bitch
– just not me.
This doesn’t make me a racist.
If anything; I’m species-ist.
All right;
moving on…)

I would like to find the sluts
to know them
to encourage their behaviors and unique mating dances
so, if slut poems cannot bring me to them
I offer now directions to find me.
I am Jon
and can be seen evenings in the South Bronx
near Hunts Point.
Please call.

About Jonathan Berger

I used to write quite a bit more.
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