I thought you’d be a wine girl.
I thought you’d have multiple Chucks
in different colors and designs.
I thought for sure you’d have a foreign lover
or three
who didn’t appreciate you,
or realize
just how out of your league he was.
She was (I wasn’t sure about the gender).
I thought you’d be Jewish.

I figured you’d’ve dropped out of an Ivy
for math
or rocket scientry.
I figured you’d be willing to dance anywhere.
I figured
underneath all those spectacular layers
you’d be bit plumper than you turned out to be
(So I guess I figured on a bigger figure).
I figured you’d be chaste.

I assumed
at first glance
how cool you’d be
how sophisticated
how wise and witty and willful.
I assumed you’d be wonderful, and
for the most part
I was right.

The devil, however,
is in the particulars
and I didn’t realize
all the things I’d gotten wrong
until it was all too late.