The Upside of All This

You’re a lot more obvious
than you think you are.
When you think you’re sneaking around the block
everyone can see you.
When you think you’re stealing a glance
at the girl you like
she’s actually posing for you.

When you ask for her number
in case you need to review the homework,
she knows you’re borderline retarded
and have no intentions of passing the class.
Your sense of subtlety
can use some work.

The upside of all this
is that you needn’t worry so much
about sneaking and spying
and tricking the ladies.
They see through you.
You don’t have to disguise your motives.
If you see a girl you want to fuck
just go up to her and say,
“I want to fuck.”

No. Don’t go anywhere
and don’t actually do that one.
I guess I wasn’t kidding
when I called you retarded, was I?

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