Some champagne corks
ricochet more than others.

Her tights read Do What You Love
so I tried to do her.

I walked into a door knob
twice.

I’m really bad with makeup.
I’m really big into pandas.
I’ve got really big balls
that bounced up
while running naked.

Some big bully asked shouted
“Anybody want a black eye?”
but I thought he said “black guy”
so I asked for two.