Monthly Archives: April 2017

They used to hold me down to clip my nails because I was so afraid that my skin would get cut accidentally in the process. The terror was real and beyond my control. I would shiver and strike out against … Continue reading →

Let me give you some advance warning: When we give our wedding vows mine will not be memorized. I’ll have written them right before the wedding so the ideas will be most fresh. I’m gonna make sure we get to … Continue reading →

At last with a jester dubbed the King of America the establishment can begin to reward those corporations with the foresight to support this administration. Legislation can be revised so that premier organizations such as ours will reap the rewards … Continue reading →

When you’re driving with this really pretty girl and your car runs out of gas but for real, though, actually runs out of gas and you’re embarrassed about the cliche but not actually thinking about making a move because this … Continue reading →

Back in college – so just a few years ago – I was part of a committee where the leader asked for volunteers to shuttle people by Chevy into the town. One girl proudly raised her hand. “I would,” she … Continue reading →

Because Great Aunt Gertrude (on my father’s side) has finally expressed interest in my art I have given her the link to my website (you know the one: jonberger dot com "available for all your poetical needs"?). So now I … Continue reading →

They refuse to share even when a solution to satisfy both is so purely clear. If he hands her the device before entering After School then she can get her alotted screen time at a point when the noise won’t … Continue reading →

When you wrote that this was my final notice I was giddy with relief. At last you would be done with your asinine memos to my account claiming to offer me a service that I requested, but come on, really? … Continue reading →

He tried to teach me the culture but I was never much of a student (unless I cared for the subject) so he found subjects within the culture that I might care about. There was a book of humorous stories … Continue reading →

Why do you approach so tentatively, crouched in pose, eyes lowered? I get that you’re nervous around me. I don’t blame you: If I were you, I’d be nervous around me, too. But I’m not really THAT big a deal. … Continue reading →