I guess I’ve been thinking of love as transactional
hoping that I I have something material to offer
I can be repaid in affection.
I’m probably thinking this way
because I can’t imagine
anyone wanting me
for me.

I’m not the most pleasant bulb in the book
or sweetest trick in the barn.
Also
my metaphors are for shit.
Why would that
be attractive
to anyone at all?

I’m not asking for pity
or false praise
or any other reaction that is forced
by my shamed admissions
but I do want love
and I’d willing to pay for it
with money or time
or affection
or even in the currency of pain,
if that’ll work.

I’m ready to trade
with whatever I have.
Will you consider
or possibly suggest some other bargain
I have yet to imagine?