Some Apologies #0014

I tried to write you an apology
back in the Excite dot com days
but I was too embarrassed
and I tried to write an apology poem
in the iPhone days
but it just wasn’t any good.

I think what I have to apologize for
was too nuanced
for the forms I was using
– though by claiming I couldn’t figure it out
in the form of poesy
is probably grounds for revocation
of my poetic license.

Still, Lara,
I haven’t been able to figure out
how to say sorry
for blowing you off
probably twenty years ago.
I just haven’t been able
to swing it
with any conviction.
Maybe, though the moment has stayed with me,
I’m not really sorry.

The only sincere thing
I can pull off
I think
is apologizing for not apologizing sooner
even though
the thing I have to apologize for
is still beyond me.

Is this whole thing
incomprehensible?
I guess I’m sorry for that, too.

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