A hearty welcome to our invading conquerors!
We wish you well
as you approach our gates
with glory in your chests
and booty in your eyes.

May you see many things
worth pillaging
and few people who require slaughter
as we are a proud people
– proud of our flexibility
and willingness to bend
at the whims of our oppressors.
We hope you enjoy your stay
on our shores
and want for nothing
that cannot easily be taken.

If there is rapine to be done
please take advantage of our conveniently located pleasure centers identified by the word Penitentiary
at the entrance.
You will find a suitable population
available for your carnal desires
and if you have need of munitions
with which to further harass and destroy,
we wish you luck in finding them
for at the end of the day
don’t we all want the same thing:
the destruction of our enemies?
That’s rhetorical, of course,
we locals want merely to be left safe and secure
as you come through our territory
prepared to do what you will.
If you find any weaponry here,
we really don’t know where it came from.

As you look down upon our cowed streets
and defeated avenues
from your lofty position of superiority
we truly hope you have the time
of your genocidally victorious lives
in our fine land
and that you enjoy your wonderful
and brief
stay.