I didn’t want to have to be the one to tell you.
I really hate having to be in this position.
Frankly, I was hoping you’d find out
all on your own
– or, at least, someone else
would step up
and let you know
which way the wind blows.

Damage is definitively done
to some dude who does dirt
on some different dude’s
damned dumb dame.
But cookies crumble
different ways on different days
and I suppose it’s my time
to sit you down
and tell you all about Eva.

That girl of yours
has been seen about town
with various Toms with hairy dicks
like, three ways to Sunday.
When you’re at the club
she’s at a bar
with one or two of your friends
doing one or two things
you probably don’t do at home
like having sex in a compact
which I can assure you
is an experience
worth missing.

It gives me no pleasure
to bring you in the loop
of those who are aware
of what your lady does.
And Eva does a lot.
With many.
She’s proud of her proclivities.
It’s a wonder she’s kept them so quiet
but the secret’s out:
and so is she – with other boys.

I’m sorry, buddy.
She’s betrayed you – like, biweekly.
You deserve better.
You shouldn’t be with someone
so disrespectful as to date all of your friends
– present company included.

You should be
with a woman who loves you,
treats you well.
You should leave
horrible gals like Eva
to horrible boys like me.