Monthly Archives: September 2017

The barfly that I love is making out with some balding white dude with a wallet chain. Two suitors have been circling her for hours, each more hipster than the other. I think the wallet chain was able to supply … Continue reading →

You know… Really? I have to spell it out? I can’t believe you’re putting me in this position. Fine. I hate being this guy but I have to tell you that there’s a pecking order a hierarchy in just about … Continue reading →

I know. You’re probably right: you’re not worth it. You can’t offer me anything close to what I want; you don’t have it in you. And I don’t have it in me to be satisfied with what you will provide … Continue reading →

Look, we can work this out. We can talk to your roommate or your super or the building management. We can talk to your friends or that boyfriend you – ex-boyfriend? Oh, thank God. There are still options. It doesn’t … Continue reading →

You’ve moved on if ever you were truly here to begin. You seem happy together. You make quite the pretty pair. I think of him sliding upon you tonight doing the things I never dared, pleasing you in ways I … Continue reading →

What is it about me that causes so much dysfunction in so many directions? I’m a good guy occasionally polite sporadically charming. I have been known to be funny on several occasions and can discuss at least four events that … Continue reading →

And suddenly my face is stone. I am still. I have no control over my cheeks, my smile. My eyes are open but I’m not seeing. My lips are quivering, my nose shivering, but nothing’s coming out. Rictus has set … Continue reading →

I carried a portion of my father out to the island because it is a place he knew and loved well. He would sit at the bay so I opened the bag and dropped a little on the bench where … Continue reading →

A hearty welcome to our invading conquerors! We wish you well as you approach our gates with glory in your chests and booty in your eyes. May you see many things worth pillaging and few people who require slaughter as … Continue reading →

Yes, I suppose it’s possible. I might be able to move some things around conceivably. I could have the meeting the next day and I don’t need to stop by the bar to see Delilah (she might not be there … Continue reading →