Regarding the Band

I went to see
that band you mentioned
the other day.
They were not very good.
They were, in fact,
really quite
not very good.
If I were to list
the top ten bands
I have seen in the last week
they would not make the list.

If I were to form a list
of the top 100 bands
I’d seen this month
they would not be on that list,

The list they would be on
would be the top ten bands
that made me want to barf my pants
as an excuse to leave the room
and not have to come back.
I suspect I was not alone in that assessment
from the look of their fan base
– and the state of their pants.

I am not saying
that you are wrong
about the quality
of that band you mentioned
or that your taste is bad,
but only because
my mother once told me
to not insult people
who might be able
to write you a college recommendation
and I never got to graduate.

I will say this:
the next band
you choose to recommend to me
is unlikely to see me
at any of their future shows.

About Jonathan Berger

I used to write quite a bit more.
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