Your brain can’t help but be obsessive.
It’s how you are wired.
To defy that
to strive to change what is indelibly your nature
is to spit in the eye
of God’s intelligent design
(Or Satan’s,
but whatever).

You were meant
to seek patterns
in the days of your meetings.
You were predestined to look for meaning
in her sighs.
You were born
to sabotage the things you most want
because of your requisites,
your neediness,
your rampant desperation.

You are a sad and pathetic man
but it is your birthright.
It was what you were always going to be.
There is nothing to do
but embrace your path
as it is unlikely
any of us
will ever embrace you again.