Regarding your party:
so far
I have had a miserable time
at your event.
Because you are so assuredly popular,
negotiating anything since entering your building
has proven most frustrating.

Were you any less charming
or less familiar with so many cliques
of varied shapes and sizes
the crowds surging in your apartment,
hallway, stairs, and bathroom
would I doubt be more manageable
and I would not currently be downstairs
on the street
looking up to your landing
trying to bum a cig
when I have never smoked in my life.

Your party sucks,
I think,
because you’re too cool.
Merry Christmas.