Meanings and End

I really thought we were gonna do it.
I expected us to be the couple
to make it
to prove that you could meet in grade school
and last to the very end
and I guess we did last to the very end
of the relationship
but that wasn’t what I meant.
That wasn’t what I expected.
That wasn’t what I’d hoped.

You don’t get it, I guess.
If you could just,
I don’t know,
look inside my head
then you’d understand.

I’ve been having dreams lately.
Unsettled dreams.
Naked dreams.
Dreams where I am doing what has to be done
– weird shit –
but all along
I feel
there’s something else I should be doing
and it always feels
the seconds ticking away
will take that thing farther away,
make it harder to ever finish
but it’s all finished now anyway, right?
That’s how I wake up.

I’m sorry.
I don’t mean to be so maudlin
so fucking cliche.
I swear, though,
this’ll be the last time
you hear me go on like this.

After all,
there’s always a last everything,
eventually.

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