Nowhere band, please listen:
you’re going nowhere
doing nothing
making headway
in none of the major markets,
none of the minor markets…
you know where your band
has seen some small amount of penetration?
Nowhere. That’s where.

You guys,
you’re a real nowhere band, man.
Recording in those nowhere clubs,
with nowhere bass and vocal dubs.
All seeking gigs, like hunting grubs,
it’s saddening.

Get some practice, nowhere dudes.
Get better, and, well, not to be rude,
there’s the slightest chance
you’ll be of interest to me.

Come on, nobodies,
if you keep trying,
I can say without lying,
you’ll get better, maybe,
but no one
will ever want to see your band

because you have not any point of view
no style or theme
or reason to
bring people to your shows
or think you’re any good.

Nobody in the world
cares about your band.
Nobody
in the world
cares
about your band.
Nobody,
nowhere band.