Merciful Minerva! I swear
the next time I clean my house
I am gonna find your number
and your birthday
and when that date rolls around
I’m gonna be ready
with the biggest cake I can afford
provided I put that info down
in the same note
where I took your number
and I’m gonna bring it to your address
which, you know,
I hope I’m privy to,
or maybe your office and,
assuming you don’t have other plans,
I’ll take you out to a really big steak lunch.

Unless you’re vegan.
Then, maybe we could go out for… carrots?
After that
we can go dancing
or to a show
or for a donut cruise,
if that’s what the kids are calling it,
and if vegans can eat donuts,
or go on cruises
– assuming you actually are vegan
in the first place.
The point is,
the afternoon of your birthday,
whenever it may be,
is yours to do with as you wish
with me as your willing servant,
if we can convince your boss
to let you take it.
I will use all my considerable powers
to make you happy.

Anyhow, looking forward to seeing you
once I find you again
once I tidy up a bit
once I get the chance
to figure out
just where my broom is.