Risk

To be honest, I shook.
I quaked in anticipation
thinking about the repercussions.
I worried about them for a long while.
I wasn’t sure if she’d take the big gesture
in the spirit it was meant.
There were so many ways it could go wrong,
so many possibilities
for my meaning to get lost or misconstrued.
I was scared for how it would go
but it was far too important to me
not to take the risk.

Someone like her
is too rare a discovery
not to make the effort
not to even try.
I have stood by the sidelines for far too long
letting life pass me by
and I couldn’t allow myself
to see the chance of experiencing
an existence with her simply disappear
without my testing the waters.
So I ordered the roses.
I bought the teddy bears.
I picked the edible assortments
of candies and cheeses and meats.
I even wrote a poem or two
in case that was the kind of thing
that would float her boat.

It still took me a while
to get up the nerve
to pull the trigger
and make my feelings known.
I had shivered.
I had shook.
I was scared as shit
and worried that I would lose
what little I had of her
so ashamed would I be
of the rejection and humiliation
if my efforts were to fail.
But nothing ventured
nothing gained,
I had once been told.
So I ventured.
I did.
It could have gone so terribly
and it did.

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