I just finished a poem
about being a bad teacher
but when I reviewed it for spelling errors
(there were none
because I was a great student)
I realized that it read
completely and inadvertently
as an admission
of a series of amoral crimes
I would rather not divulge.

I celebrate the aberrant
but as god as my witness
I never touched that parrot in that poem
not in the way it seemed
according to my awkward allusions.
Also, the battery was consenting
and cis.

No.
You may not see the poem in question.
Some certain things
a man must keep private.