It’s always great to see you
but it’s greater when you go.
I’ll miss you, absolutely.
I’ll be a wreck,
but there’s no question
it’s better when you’re gone.

I breathe easier.
I think more clearly.
I can elucidate on a wider range of subjects
(that is to say,
things that are not you).

Obviously I want nothing less
than for you to be not around
just like I would be miserable
if chocolate cake
was eradicated from the planet
but when you’re diabetic
you gotta make some hard choices
and I guess I’m Type One for you.

I’m not capable
in any of the ways I want to be
in your presence.
I’m not smart.
I’m not aware of my environment.
I’m too anxious of your emotions
and reactions
and imagined responses.
I’m not funny
or put together or anything.
I’m a mess.

I can’t ever ask for your absence,
since I could never dream of living with that
so the conundrum is one
I cannot resolve
unless you leave me alone
for a good long while
so
you can see the problem.