There will come a day
when I will be more
than half your age.
That day is today
and I am now finally
old enough
to have lived on this world
for fifty percent
of the time you have.

Soon
you will only be
four sevenths more experienced than me
or have one point six times my wisdom
or contain sixty six percent more charm
per serving than I could ever muster.
It’ll take me some time to get there
but I’m coming up, baby.
Oh, soon I’ll have aged
enough to call you baby, too.

I’m getting up there.
I can see it
with my squinty vision
through progressive lenses.
I’m racing you to the finish line
and I’m getting closer
every instant.