In Excelsis

Thanks to Officer Drummond
who made the experience at the police station
fast and relatively stress-free.
The courtesy and professionalism provided
was a surprise
and frankly, in stark relief to everything I’d heard about
from peers and partners
in similar situations.

Thanks also to Mrs. Alvarado
at the tow shop
who made what could’ve been a hellscape afternoon something far sweeter. You weren’t exactly kind
but you were quick,
efficient, and I was in and out of your office
within about ten minutes.

And all appreciation to the elegant website that provided the hookup and location of Mrs. Alvarado and her entire team.
I’m used to those sites taking hours to navigate
running in circles
struggling to get the simplest of answers
but whoever designed that site
and maintained it
certainly knew what they were all about.
The info loaded well
and I was able to get all applicable answers
in instants.

The guy who finally delivered me
to my car
to drive it off the lot
and be done with the entire ordeal
was a real sweetheart.
He thanked me for my patronage
and had a great smile on his face
while he did his duty.
It was a wonder to watch.

In total,
excellent work from the entire bureaucracy
getting me through the process
in less than two hours,
start to finish.
Entirely elegant and effortless
in excelsis.

I mean, fuck you all
and fuck the man
– but really, good job all around, everyone.

About Jonathan Berger

I used to write quite a bit more.
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