Tell me about your new boyfriend.
Is he a catch?
Is he better than me?
Smarter? Faster?
Richer? Fatter?
Furrier?
Does he make you happy?
Are you being kept under duress?
You can tell me.
Wink three times if you need a jailbreak.
Even after all we’ve been through
you know I’d try and save you
if you gave me the word.
Well, all right,
not if the word was “no.”

Tell me more
about how most excellent this man is.
How fine and kind
and wise and wonderful
you find him
every night
and every morning.
Explain further about the amazing rapport you have
and how you complete each other’s… souls?
Oh. I thought that was where you were going.

I gotta say
everything sounds pretty super
with your fella.

You’re sure?