I feel quite safely secure
that were I in my right head
I would not have heard the sorts of things
that from my lips were said.

I suspect that were I more awake
or had I better sleep
the sounds I’m loudly bursting
would have made nary a peep.

But at this time the stupid things
we’re doing – collectively –
seem to be exclusively
my responsibility.

Of course, that’s never truly true.
Society’s at fault.
For without the gears of everyone else,
all my awfulness would quite simply halt.

So while I’ll take some blame for sumpin’,
like, say, jerking off in your spleen…
you should really talk to my parents:
their genetics made me mean.