however this day ends up
whether more positive
or even sinking further down
to more interminable depths
this ache you feel
the suffering within
it is a far better thing you have
than the alternative.
No, not better than joy
but better than nothing.
If your chest had only the absence
nothing but the blackness of before
you would be free of the pain, surely,
but enslaved by something else.
You’d be enslaved by inexperience.
And you may wail in this instant
that you wish you could lack this experience
that it would be better to live without
than to have this sucking wound.
And this wound sucks,
there can be no doubt
but from this you’ll grow
and you’ll feel again
and it’ll be better.
It’ll be better.
Maybe not today;
we’ll just have to see.