Buck up, old son.
When you’re slow to eat that ice cream cone
and a little dribbles on your hand
and while you try to lick it off your hand
some more gets on your shoe
and as you look at that in disbelief
the body of cream slides off the cone
and plops sloppily on the floor,
it is not your fault.

Well, I mean,
it is your fault,
absolutely, without doubt,
but so what
because failure is built into you
and not just because you’re a loser.

We all are.
Humanity is born to lose.
Sure, there have been many great things
we have accomplished on this earth
simply being on a planet
with sentient life,
but if you think it through,
for your every success,
how many things have you not done?

The day you get that raise:
did you attain world peace?
Did you discover a new form of flora?
Did you get to eat a really good ham and cheese?
Did you get an even bigger raise?
Then even your victory is wrapped up in failure.

Of course,
we the people
have a way of turning any black news blue
and if you turn that view again
you can look through that same lens and see
that on that day when you got that raise:
you helped successfully maintain the political status quo vis a vis warfare.
You stopped any invasive new plant life from entering our ecosphere.
You avoided saturated fats by saying “no” to the ham and cheese
AND kept it real with a salary more comparable with the lowest in the company
thus staving off the revolution
for another day.

Even in failure, then,
there is a way to find success.
So, good job,
I guess.

About Jonathan Berger

I used to write quite a bit more.
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