You don’t want to hear it,
believe me,
but if you’re sure…
Be warned, though,
that some things,
they’ll just fill you with regret.

Their metabolisms were different
so one was huge
and the other was really thin.
Those two were in love
so I guess their shapes complemented each other?
But they were both named Arthur
so though it wasn’t hard to tell them apart
it was hard to call them apart.

But it gets ugly.
They were into BDSM
with the slim one playing the masochist
and the enormous one all dominant.

It never was supposed to get out of hand.
They had safe words
and we’re careful about their forms of play
these two Arthurs
and their games sometimes had an air of danger
that freaked out their straighter friends.

But eventually, because he was the dom
and the other was small,
the big guy,
he became known as
The Master of Fine Art.

See?
I SAID that you’d regret this.