Author Archives: Jonathan Berger

That particular smile you displayed in that vacation picture when you strode atop that monument having reached such heights with your friends on such a day as such an accomplishment while I awaited receipt of the image along with the … Continue reading →

It was either a slam dunk or a cataclysm. The beginning of the end or the end of the terrors. I’ll let you know when I know for sure. It was the wretchedness or the rockin’ pneumonia. The remains of … Continue reading →

I’m glad that you like me. In the grand sense that’s all I really want but in the microcosm I’m a little too fragile in my masculinity about the specifics. I’m not sure that I appreciate that you like me … Continue reading →

I suppose I have the rats to thank. As they eat through my pantry I find myself with limited resources and thus I can now embrace simplicity. The rats have offered me an opportunity to live with less. I become … Continue reading →

I didn’t buy your fourth album at the time it came out because I thought I knew you well enough that you would give it to me for free. I did not. I don’t know why I thought I did. … Continue reading →

When you say you’re speaking about King Louis and then mention the land of France, you may in your mind believe that you’ve clarified just a little which Louis you may be referring to but there were sixteen the first … Continue reading →

I couldn’t find your apartment today. That place that was once like Mecca to me the veritable epicenter of my thoughts, hopes and avenues of expression, the place, the place, THE PLACE where it all went down once and then … Continue reading →

I’d say “break a leg,” but I don’t want you to break anything. I could give you a thumbs up which looks pretty insincere or a patriarchical, supercilious “you can do it.” I’d suggest “good luck,” but that’s kind of … Continue reading →

You can see me better than I can: are those ear hairs streaming out of my ears? Obviously, those are not nose hairs in my ears but I am feeling something. Are they ear hairs? What else could they be? … Continue reading →

You know there doesn’t have to be a joke at the end, right? That’s not a necessity. You think it is to maintain interest but it’s at the end so you don’t really have to worry about interest anymore and … Continue reading →